Life's Awkward Stages

Life has a lot of awkward stages, everyone goes through them, some pass through swiftly with no worries and other people are like me. I want this awkwardness to go away as FAST as it can. Whether it was going to college and experiencing life on my own, I wanted it to happen NOW because the summer before college was awkward. When I got my Associates Degree and was struggling to find a stable job. Everyone else was still completing their Bachelors Degree. I hate school and was never good at. So I took the long route to getting my Bachelors... slowly but surely... 6 years later :) But it was awkward.

I was still in the dating part of life and high school and college friends were getting married. I remember praying, "God, please please just let me meet the man I am supposed to be with. I can't do this dating thing anymore." It was awkward. I guess some girls have to kiss more frogs than others to find their prince charming!

Then I met my husband and we had soo much fun dating, but there came a time where I wanted more. Most of our friends were married and some of them were just starting a family. It felt awkward not being able to relate to some of life's greatest blessings.

As of yesterday the Hubby and I have been married for 10 months. (I'm actually listening to our wedding song while typing this post. You can find it here) It feels like just yesterday we were planning our wedding. I guess they are right when they say "Time flies when you are having fun." I am so thankful to have met a man who loves me so much ... more than I love myself sometimes!

Through these past 2.5 years we have been able to do what we want, when we want, and for however long we want. Sounds awesome right?!? wrong. I am over it. Sometimes I feel like I am so "lost" in our life. Don't get me wrong, I love the freedom, but in the last couple of months, I have recently reached that point where I need change. I feel like we are stuck in the life of monotony.  I would call it one of those awkward stages of life. Blake graduated in May, so we are kind of empty nesters. I have one less person to worry about at the house and I miss it.

Waking up, going to work, coming home, cooking or going out for dinner, watching TV and going to bed is getting old to me. While I could add a lot of important things to that list, such as working out, I don't. I feel like I am caught in the whirlwind of the monotony.

As you can see throughout this post, patience isn't easy for me. I have a very small attention span and want things to constantly be changing around me, not so much me making the choices to change them.Very much letting life happen instead of taking the bull by the horns. It's also me looking at things negatively and "half empty".

I really should be very thankful that I got through all the awkward stages, maybe not in the time frame I had hoped, but it all has worked out. I should focus on how LUCKY we are to do whatever we want, when we want because hopefully some day that will change! I really need to trust God that everything will work out the way it's suppose to and leave the worrying about the timing to him and starting enjoying what I have today. This is just one of those steps on my journey to viewing my glass 1/2 full instead of 1/2 empty!!!!

xoxo
A